~Well its been a super rough week, its been a super rough little while in my life~ Now I am a Scorpio, as most know, Scorpios tend to be very envious of others. Let me tell you I am sadly the queen of envy. I have two very beautiful daughters, and the best boyfriend any girl could ever ask for. There is nothing wrong with my life. We are all healthy, an housed, and fed. We have a good life.
I see my friends getting married, buying homes, having babies, graduating college, you name it if I don't have it, I want it. It is a horrible trait I possess and I am trying to defeat it everyday. This week played such a strong role in me over coming this.
I was being ungrateful like you would not imagine this week, but then I stop and I remember. I remember that I am doing a walk for MS tomorrow, I remember I am making blankets for the huntsman cancer center, I remember I am helping abused and neglected children. And then I realized "Wow Melani you big idiot, look around you, you have it easy compared to so so so many!"
Not only did I realize all that, but I also see people close to my heart suffering,
Someone very important to me is about to lose their best friend to cancer, another friends boyfriend just overdosed on heroin, people I love are struggling more financially than me. Every second of every day someone else is having it so much harder than I can ever imagine.
I cried on my couch for hours tonight when I realized what I had been doing. How dare I be ungrateful for what I have. How dare I take it all for granted.... So I have composed a list of things I need to acknowledge how grateful for them I am.
Starting with my cousin, my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, near or far she never lets me down. She always hears what I have to say. She never judges me she supports me. We hardly ever see one another..ever...but as long as I know I can talk to her every day its ok. We text during our favorite shows, we celebrate its Friday through the phone, we use each other for parenting advice. She is my best friend. I take her friendship for granted at times, and I just want her to know how much our friendship means to me.
My Absolutely Amazing Boyfriend who listens to me whine about being jealous, who supports and loves me more than I can even ask, who literally would do anything for me. I love him so so much! He is my best friend and I do not thank him enough for everything he does. But my life would not be complete without him. My girls are so lucky to have such an amazing father in their life. Thank you baby!! I love your more than a million red m&ms <3
My family, my parents, my sisters, my whole entire family!!!! I would not be who I am today if I didnt have them. My parents have never ever not been there for me. I am a 100% daddys girl, for example this horrible week I have had, and the only thing I have wanted is my dad. Sometimes I just want to go home and see him. I have the best family in the world!! I love them so much!!
Rileys Parents, Dannell and Jody....Oh boy where would Riley and I be without our parents haha through all of mine an Rileys fights and drama our parents have been there to mend our broken hearts, and hear us cuss each other out. They have heard it all and we don't thank our parents nearly enough!!! we both love our parents and thank you for everything you do!!!
Last of all My Baby Girls....Oh goodness. God has seriously blessed me with these angels. Even when life is hard and I wanna breakdown those baby girls smile and I melt. I remember why I am here. When I was 16 I got my patriarchal blessing, it is a special message given to you it is in the LDS church. This by far was one of the most amazing days of my life, this man told me things I could not believe. It told me my calling to be a mother, however I feel like these girls teach me more than I could ever teach them. I am so grateful God sent me these girls. Mine and Rileys greatest joys is spending time with them. Talking about my babies has me all teary eyed now. I have seriously began to ramble but it happens when your a mommy and all you want to do is brag about your babies (i don't just mean human babies). I will never be able to express the love I have for them. I love you miss Sofia faye and miss Amelia mae <3
As you can see my life is no where near bad. And I am Grateful for everything I have!! I want to make a goal to make some aware every day how thankful I am for them, no matter how big or small, you never know what I kind of day someone is going to be having, lend them a smile, pay for there lunch. Be kind to others, share kindness. If I teach my girls one thing I hope its how to spread unlimited amounts of thankfulness and kindness. Thank you to anyone who reads my random words.
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
